Jesus was Gay?

The Catholic League is apparently upset with Elton John because of a recent comment of his, which follows:

Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man.

They’re not just upset with the kinda bizarre assertion that Jesus was gay. They don’t appreciate John referring to Jesus as “super-intelligent” either. For them it sounds like Jesus was nothing more than “a successful game-show contestant.” It seems to me John was just trying to ruffle some feathers, and it worked. As usual, the comment section is peppered with the most salient logic to ever grace the internet:

Everyone is gay, this article is gay, Elton we know is gay, the Church we know is gay. CNN is gay.. Jesus, NOT GAY……

oh elton, what would the viacr of dibley say?

Can the church prove that Jesus wasn’t gay?

From what I have been taught, and read and understand, Jesus was asexual – neither straight nor gay nor bi.

Religion is the root of all evil.

By the way, you WILL be JUDGED MS. Elton John!

Jesus gay???
Lets see, he never married, hung out with 12 other guys, articulate in his speech, I could go on…


5 responses to “Jesus was Gay?

  • Nick

    Of course Jesus is gay. Gay means jolly and Jesus was a very happy God-Man.

    But homosexual? Nope. Jesus taught against the sin of homosexual acts in a homosexual culture when He said marriage is between a man and a woman – referring back to Adam and Eve in the garden.

    • Aaron Christianson

      I’m not so sure that Jesus was jolly. He doesn’t seem to be in such a great mood in most of the Gospel narratives.

      P.S. It’s the gospel of Peter that talks about him spending the night alone with a naked boy. All of the Peter fragment are highly suspected of being modern forgeries.

  • James

    As I understand it, there are actually those who suggest that Jesus practiced homosexuality based on odd sayings and doings found in some pseudepigraphic gospels (Thomas?).

    For example, the young man dressed only in a linen cloth who is mysteriously mentioned in the Garden of Gethsemane account (Mark 14:51) .

    I don’t know much about it, but the accusation doesn’t seem to be manufactured from thin air.

  • Bob Kramchynski

    Of course Jesus was gay. In Matt4:39 he has John & Andrew spend the night at his place and in the morning he meets their brother Simon, falls in love with him and renames him Peter – his rock. Later in the gospels it refers to Peter as the apostle whom Jesus loves . . . because Jesus loves him.
    Also “you will be fishers of men” can be taken in two ways and “you will catch men” Jesus says to Simon in the boat (Luke5:10).

  • Aaron Christianson

    Nick and Bob are no longer allowed to do exegesis.

    That is all.

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